I recently said goodbye to a dear friend, whom I’ve known since early childhood. One who cheered me up when I was down, who nurtured me in times of loneliness and transition. As I matured, however, my dependency somehow evolved into guarded resentment, my friend’s once-comforting voice more of a nagging background din.
When a relationship fizzles, hards choices must be made. Without warning, I drove both of us to a remote, industrial part of Santa Monica, hidden in the murky shadows of the 10 freeway.
There, I yanked my life-long buddy – so many memories! -- from the car and straight into a deep metal bin. Thud. No tears, not even a final spark of regret.
My friend is a TV.
It went where other items at the Santa Monica Electronics Disposal Station go…that big Circuit City in the sky.
Resounding silence ensued.
And then, haunting questions. Who’s the Biggest Loser? Who will be the next American Idol? Where’s the beef? Who shot J.R.? Will I make it, after all?
More silence followed, and I began to fill that extra head space with reading, writing, sleeping. Conversations about self-indulgent reality stars fell by the wayside, my dreams no longer smeared by the Progressive Car Insurance lady’s thick mascara.
As I learn to remove the things that mask my anxiety or sadness or fear, the picture gets a little clearer, the color sharper. Modern architect Mies Van der Rohe famously coined the phrase, “Less is More.” In a world that Facebook conquered, however, that phrase too often translates as Less is Bored.
A (human) friend of mine recently quit his six-figure job and joined the Peace Corps in South Africa. When summer arrives, he’ll need to walk half a mile to gather water from the nearest source. Safe to assume he’s not spending his evenings watching, “Bethenny Ever After.”
In his first email to me in several months, he described his initial foray to a local tavern Рthe quirky personalities, the cheap brew, the cloudy, plaintive night sky. Despite his fatigue and second thoughts, his communiqu̩ from across the world was vital, poignant Рmedia as connection, not distraction.
I miss my Peace Corps friend. And no Snooki, Real Housewife of Orange County, or Royal Wedding can ever replace the real thing.
